KIDS AND PARENTAL PRESSURE

As a home maker, I try to keep myself busy by taking tuitions to a few kids in my complex. This also for a few couple of hours when my kid goes to sleep. Initially taking tuitions was something I would'nt ever dream of ever. But this happened accidently last year when I met a freind of mine whose kid was slow at learning. Since she also had another small baby to look after and I too was at a very low phase, so took my first student. What followed was that this same friend of my mine got an other student. Both these boys were in the same class UKG so for me it was great. Then came the neighbour of mine whose kid was in the 7th grade ICSE Board. She wanted me tutor him on Maths and Science ( I was numb, I tried my best to tell her that its been a long time - but she somehow convinced me into it). And so came along a few more.

At first, I was more nervous when the results were to be announced. Then every parent would come and discuss their childs progress. At first if the child would not do as expected (parents expectations) then the parents would try and give me their inputs as to how I should go about teaching. That was it.... I was not going to allow any parent to tell me how to do my job. I let them know how I felt and if they were not satisfied they were free to search for another teacher. That did scare them a bit coz there were other teachers who had big batches of kids but none of them could give personal attention. Generally, parents who put their kids for tuitions feel that their kids will do a miracle and when that does not happen the blame game starts. What they do not understand is that a tuition teacher is a guide who help the kid in understanding the subject well but the students are also required to practise and study. By setting unachieveable goals to the kids makes them more depressed. This according to me is the PRESSURE which results in the kid lying, not paying any interest etc. In fact some kids feel that their parents do not even love them any more (yes as told by one of my students). Parents really need to sit with their kids (especially the ones entering their teenage) and understand them more and love them for what they are. Few words of encouragement can go a long way in shaping up the childrens future.

All the kids who I had as my students eventually gave a good performance in the finals atleast there was a 15% to 20% improvement than their earlier scores. This was not only due to my efforts but also the students who really worked hard. This, for me is an achievement and an encouragement. The students parents were really happy and I was glad that I could bring a smile on their faces.

Teaching these kids has made me realise how they feel or rather how a certain age group thinks. Most of them are pretty honest. They are not as diplomatic as the adults. Instead they voice their emotions well. Its up to us to understand them and make changes before its too late. How many times have we wanted to do something but were not able to due to parental pressure or financial pressure? We should be happy that the Kids nowadays are more clear in their thinking and know what they want to do. Supporting them will help them achieve greater heights.

HAPPINESS

Last week we had gone to CROSSWORD to shop for some good story books as well as some reference book for our son. The best part about this Book Store is that you can sit there browse thru and also read books with no one to disturb. My husband who is a usual fan of TINTIN and ASTERIX sat cooly and started reading these comics. My son was more than happy sitting on a toy elephant model.

Since both of them were busy I decided to go thru the books for improving my cooking skills. Finally ended up selecting a couple of the Sanjeev Kapoor books. After moving away from the cookery section I saw myself looking at the section on self improvement. Not really interested in it, I moved on but could'nt help looking at this book "The Little Manual of Happiness" by Vikas Malkani. It was as if the book was screaming to me to "pick me up, phuleeeeez". I sure did and I am glad that I did.

Now I am almost half way thru the book and wanted to share some of the wonderful quotes :

" Do what is right, regardless of the fear or the consequences. All you can finally lose is you fear."

"Happiness does not depend on your tommorro; happiness is today, the present moment."

"Often, our pursuit of perfection overshadows our pursuit of happiness; when this happens, expect disaster."

"Stop worrying about what everyone thinks about you because, usually, they are not thinking about you at all; instead, they may well be wondering what you may be thinking of them."

"Pause for a minute and reflect on this sentence : You deserve love and respect just because you are you."

"A happy person is one who gets rid of all negatavities. He or she will go that extra mile just to avoid the downbeat and the depressing."

"The next time you feel low, for whatever reason, remind yourself, "This too shall pass." It will."

"If you live your life thinking that you will be happy tommorrow, let me tell you straight that tommorrow never comes."

"Solitude is precious; a person who loves his or her company is forever happy. He or she does not need to rely on another for joy."

"A happy person is the one who knows that there are options and always chooses the happy one."

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony- Mahatma Gandhi"

The last quote indicated has been written by Mahatma Gandhi.

Enjoy reading them and Be Happy. Oh yes, do leave your comments.

MARRIAGE IS A GAMBLE

How true it is!!!!!
Even if you know the person before marrying him still there is so much you come to know after marriage.

Be it a love marriage or an arranged one, you are never sure of the twists and turns. Well Life itself is unpredictable. Coming to marriages, sitting back, I remember reading a lot of those MILLS AND BOONS, I would dream about my right guy (maybe thinking that he would be just like the books and the movies). To me it was like two people with similar kind of wavelengths, funloving, carefree, romantic etc etc. Whereas on the other corner of my practical mind I always knew that this may not be the case coz there was a live example in front of me as my parents who have had an arranged marriage are completely 2 different individuals with very contrasting thoughts.

My understanding about arranged marriages was not all that great. I would always wonder how two individuals who really do not know each other at all (even if they had their little period of courtship) would be so ready to tie the knot. I mean get serious, you are going to sleep with a person whom you do not know at all (scary). But yes, a lot of people may have a different opinion about this.

So quite early in life I had decided that I would only marry if I know the person well. Finally I met my Mr Right almost 13 years ago. We were working in the same office. We had our period of courtship, almost 4 months before my engagement and another 6 months after the engagement. After marriage, life was not like the MILLS AND BOONS at all. I knew that he was a very loving, caring, understanding and more than all this mature. But when it came to romance, he had to really try hard. Being married in a different community, I also had my period of adjustments in the family. There were a lot of ups and downs. Survived most of it :) am glad. Bottomline- IT WORKED OUT JUST GREAT. Now I am happily married with a 7 and a half years old son. Though there would be some who would beg to differ coz I too have seen a lot of love marriages not even lasting for a a couple of years.

Marriages be it arranged or love need to be constantly worked upon. In recent times, may be due to financial independence and career, marriage has taken a back seat. The tolerance levels have decreased. None are in a mood of sitting down and even understanding what is going wrong. It really is sad when we can see it happening in front of our eyes but cant do anything about it since a lot of couples do not want any interference in their personal life. Well the best I do is pray for them and hope that everything gets sorted out. I would never recommend anybody to live in a marriage which has a lot of violence or torture in it. Since I was going thru some of these funny Marriage Quotes, I thought of pasting them. Enjoy.

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???

QUOTE

1. Marriage is not a word.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES

So many times we come across a lot of sayings or thoughts on friendship.
As a child I was very shy and having a group of friends was not my cup of tea. It was just one close friend that I hung around with since my second grade. We were unseparable and could share any secrets. We were together till my Eleventh Grade and then she left school. We kept in touch through letters (email was unheard of at that time). Thats when I realised how lonely I felt.

Since life goes on, I made a couple of friends in the last two years of my schooling but lost touch with them as all of us went to pursue our further studies. After that I can only say that most of my life revolved around working hard and giving my 100 percent at work. I can say that rather than friends there were a lot of acquaintances. I quit working after my son was born. At no point of time did I even have the time to think about friends.

My son started attending playgroup and we moms would religiously drop and pick up our kids. And thereeeeeee I met this new friend (mom like me) who was extremely pally. So started our social life with this couple. It was perfect. Every weekends were outings and late night parties or trips to the mall. Initially it was great. Slowly it started seeping in that in all this we really did'nt have much time for rest. There were times when we would really try to give some reasons for not accompanying them. Sometimes it got difficult to put my veiwpoint across sweetly (diplomatically as everyone would say). Well in one such conversation, I lost my cool and bluntly said what I felt. And I guess that was it. The threads of friendship were severed forever. Yeah Yeah,......I did go to her and apologize but it was too late............. I felt miserable afterwards. It took a lot of time for me to come out of this.......... I consoled myself saying that this Friendship was not meant to be......

And on the other side some acquaintances we meet or talk to can really change our lives. Make us feel good about ourselves. This is what happened when recently while on the Facebook I chatted with some of my old classmates. There were no hang ups, we caught up on old times.

I sincerely believe the quote which says "The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow without growing apart."

It would be great if you could share some of your friendship stories.

BLOGGING

Hi,

Its been more than an year since I actually opened this account for blogging. But I guess as always I never got motivated into penning down a few lines about anything. A few days ago I was chatting with my classmate (courtesy FB). It had been almost 19 years since I had left high school and this friend of mine bought back the old memories. It felt great chatting with her. She put me on to her blog and told me that I could get an insight of her life. Well after reading it I was thoroughly impressed. Her honesty and outlook towards life really inspired me to sit down and revamp my blog and start blogging. Funny that some people can come at different stages in life and make such a difference.

Everybody has got a past, present and future. Though I had been living in the past for quite some time now and have started realising that it does not give any positivity towards life. This is my first effort to try and start living more in the present and make life for me and my family more funloving.

I have a great husband who has always supported me in my life. He is extremely strong willed and balanced in life. A cleanliness freak that he is - is the only thing that I get worked up with. But guess it runs in the family (you see he gets it from my Father in law). The only best part about this is that when I am unwell, he takes it up on him to keep the place tidy. Now where do you see a man like that. He works like crazy - now who said that running a business is easy. Only thing in all this is my son gets to spend very little time with him. I know he feels guilty about this.

My son is a real havoc. He keeps me on my toes all the time. His teachers keep complaining about his yapping - but he gets that from me. Kids are always in such a hurry to grow up. All day my son will ask -
1.Suyash - Mummy when I become 18 will you allow me to drive ?
Me - Yes.
2. Suyash - Mummy when will I grow a moustache and beard ?
Me - When you start 15 son.
So he starts counting and says that oh thats only a 7 years more and starts jumping all over the place.......................I could not help but laugh at such innocence...............